And on some days
Darkness befriends me
It engulfs me in a tight hug
Like the way a long lost lover holds onto it’s love
Like a murderer preys on it’s victims
Like a dementor feeds on people’s happy memories
And in these moments
I become still
The world around me goes on
I feel a tight knot in my chest
My throat runs out of breath
And I’m unable to breathe
The blessings feels like curses
Every disturbing memory
Settle on my brain
Like the dust settles on untouched furniture
And every decision made
Feels like a regret
Anger
Sadness
Pain
Fear
Frustration
My brain goes round and round around these emotions
I cover my ears
Hoping that these deadly whispers vanish away
But Alas
There’s no escape
People are no medicine
I cannot rely on them
Who then do I go to?
Who can understand my pain?
Who can set my heart at ease?
Stumbling
Shivering
And crawling
I find my way to the prayer mat
As I bow my head in Prostration
My emotions are finally released
The prayer mat soaked in my tears
Nothing but the silent sobs and shaking shoulders for a while
Until I’m finally at ease
He answered my prayers,
“He is my Rabb,
He is here for me,
He was always there for me,
He helped me get away from the darkness.”
Ramsha Arshi, Associate, GIO Nampally
